Nude Opera

 Nude Opera

by Art Skyclad

 

When I heard
You hadn't had a boyfriend in a year

That you slept alone on Saturday nights

And that you might pursue opera singing

It was something I couldn't conceive

You, a loveless diva
A chaste Kathleen Battle,
A celibate Leontyne Price

Without the excesses of Carmen or Salomé

I could imagine you, merry and much rounder,

Up there on stage with Pavarotti or Domingo

But what about back in the dressing room?

No bouquets of roses from ardent admirers?

The sexiest of all sopranos

I can imagine you singing in La Scala

But you need moans behind the curtains, too

You need a nude performance, allegro passionato

First Movement: Allegro non Troppo

For it's a crime you're not getting any

An offense against nature

Because ever since you became a woman

The universe itself has been aroused

You need a lover

Who enjoys the bounce of your breasts

The fetching sway of your ass

Aroused by your every entrance

Saddened by your exits

You need a man to sigh
When he spies your shapely legs

To melt at the lilt of your lovely voice

Admire you lustfully, lecherously, longingly

Who gets a raging erection

From your smile and infectious laughter

Who can not gaze upon your beauty

Without wishing to ravish and fulfill you

Second Movement: Andante Cantabile

You need to be kissed off stage

Until you fall into a sweet delirium

You need to be caressed

Until your heart beats wildly

You need to be licked

Until your legs are shaking

And you need to be fucked

And fucked splendidly

Third Movement: Allegro Giocoso

Your female neighbors moan lowly

As they hear your latest performance

Who's doing it to the diva?, they wonder

Who's banging the soprano?, they sigh

He fucks you as you need to be fucked

He's Romeo to your Juliet,
Zeus to your Leda

He's Don Juan between your legs

You need him to fuck you harder

He's Othello squeezing your breasts
The Barber of Seville deep inside you

Casanova and his many positions

Fourth Movement: Allegro Con Spirito

Your body is singing

Fuck me, Figaro!

Take me, Don Giovanni!

Cum on my tits, Don José!

You need that, you really do

A rude symphony, allegro passionato

Because it's a crime you're not getting any

An offense against nature

And La Scala

Best Women's Erotica. Vol. 4
edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel